yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
