I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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