Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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