So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
