she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
