We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
