Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's shark week go big or go home
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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