dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
