There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize