you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
