Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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