your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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