At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
