lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
