I skipped work to stalk him.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
