What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
