just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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