I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
