You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
