I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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