"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize