i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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