So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
