Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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