Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
