I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize