Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
