My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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