best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You ruined the universe
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize