She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
