I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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