I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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