I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
