My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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