hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
