Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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