I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
