covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
