She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
