I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
