is wine microwaveable?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
