I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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