There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
