I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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