GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize