Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are the jesus of drinking
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
