covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
