my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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