my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
