My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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