I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
