You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We need a shit load of segways right now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
