I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
