Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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