Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it's not cheating when I paid for it
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
