I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
bring money and cleavage
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
