Pants 0. Shit 1.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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