So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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