all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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