More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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