I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
