spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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