they need to just BURY HIM!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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