I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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