i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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