Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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