I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
