Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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